Like A Deer
by ihatewriting
Summary: Temari's thoughts after deflowering Shikamaru. Rated T for suggestive themes and language. Flames welcome, constructive criticism worshipped. ShikaTema.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own any Naruto characters

Temari hastily donned her yukata, and frowned a bit at the conspicuous love stains on her obi. _Guess tomorrow's laundry day._ She walked back to the bed and sat near the headboard. She thought it was rather funny that his body resembled that of a young deer. She watched his sleeping form, resting on his side with his face turned away from her. His waist was infuriatingly small, especially compared to his broad back and tight yet rotund ass. She was tempted to pinch it, but resisted, not wanting to disturb his slumber. His build was even more comical considering he turned out to be much better endowed than she expected. She jumped a bit as he turned around and cracked open an eye, "Hnh?" as if reading her thoughts.

"Shh nothing, go back to sleep."

"Hn," he grunted sleepily as he closed his eye and draped an arm around hips.

"Good boy," Temari reached down to pet his hair.

"Troubles....zzzz....ZZZZ....ZZZ"

Since it was his first time, she made a point of being respectful and going slow, unlike her usually rough routine. _He probably would appreciate that sort of crap anyway._ Despite what people say about men, she knew that he somewhat valued his chastity—not as if it were priceless or anything, but it was still worth something. For that reason she had taken him slowly, hoping that the experience would resemble the one he had probably played out in his mind once or twice—one that was just a tiny bit meaningful. God knows she hadn't been so lucky a few years ago with the bastard from the traveling circus. All she knew was that she woke up alone and it hurt to walk. It wasn't fair. Fate seemed to treat Konohagakure much more kindly. She had been stripped away of her fairy tales and her innocence at such a young age, without any sort of compensation from heaven's judiciary powers. On the other hand, circumstances had always allowed the Leafs to maintain their sometimes ludicrous idealism. She remembered Naruto's promise to win back Sasuke _and _protect Konoha. Believe it! And what about deer boy? How was it that a Chunin could cry, even when his team enjoyed a full recovery, without anyone reproaching him? She had been annoyed at first, _(How dare you! Do you know what hell my Kankuro and Baki would have put me through if they saw me cry like that?)_ but the lazy runt somehow found a place in her heart. The boy was surely capable, but she had felt protective of him for some reason, moved by his quiet idealism _(they call it the Will of Fire)_ and lulled by his carefree demeanor. She wanted his heart to stay pure for as long as possible, and told herself it was because she wanted to live vicariously the rosy life that had been denied to her and her brothers. She ignored the voice that told her that his life wasn't _that_ easy and that she didn't care nearly as much about the other Leaf nin, and remained content with her explanation.

She slowly moved his arm away, pushed herself off the bed, and walked toward the desk by the window. She tore off a piece of paper from one of his dog-eared notebooks and wrote a quick note. Afterward, she hopped onto the window pane and stole one last glance at the boy. "Good night, _dearie_," she whispered wryly and stalked off into the night.

*****

Shikamaru awoke to find himself alone and rather cold. He saw the open window and felt slightly irritated. As he shuffled out of bed to close the window, he noticed a note with Temari's small, neat handwriting:

_Thanks for the lovely time. Don't forget to shower._

His mouth broke into a grin as he headed for the bathroom. Today seemed like a good day to treat Chouji and Ino for barbecue.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **What a sorry excuse for a drabble (as if I know what a drabble is). Read and review anyway please!

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"I have to go soon."

"That's tragic."

"Don't pretend you're not heartbroken. I was probably the only reason you became a diplomat anyway."

"Hn, aren't we modest?"

"Ouch! Goddamn woman…" Shikamaru rubbed his shoulder blade, bruised from the blunt force trauma inflicted by that stupid fan.

"Oh my, I am ever so sorry, kind sir," mocked the woman. Most of the time he hated her tough act, but what he hated more was that it wasn't an act. It didn't help that he was so drawn to her either. The toughness, the coolness, the utter lack of…_girl_ in her. This was definitely a woman. And though he hated women as a rule of thumb, he could only wish he could say the same about this one.

"What do you have to do anyway?"

"Feed the deer."

"Deer?" He was surprised to find her words were laced with genuine interest. Three years of knowing that woman and she was never once as giddy as a school girl.

"Yeah…Why? You wanna come?"

"Kind of." And now she smiled, dimples and all. He could have even sworn he saw stars in her eyes. He had once shown her his family's collection of rare pearls (the ones that Sakura and Ino always drooled over) and she never batted an eyelid. But she actually wanted to see his deer? What a weird woman. He rarely found girls to be cute. Sure, sometimes they were pretty, some were hot, but almost never cute. Hinata was one of the rare exception. But _this _woman—she was definitely not cute. Maybe a –40 on the cute scale. But now, he couldn't help it. He had never seen her look so…soft. Even after their rare lovemaking sessions, she never looked vulnerable. Just contented, satiated, as if she ate too much soul food and was enjoying a food comma. He wondered if anything ever made her smile like this when she was not.

"Fine. We're having dinner first. Oh, and you're paying this time." He skillfully dodged a kick to his rear following that.

OoOoOoOoOo

He knew that though he wasn't the most powerful nin, stealth was one of his fortes. But he's not above admitting that she was sneakier, more graceful, more cautious. Why is it then that this woman, who could tread water as silently as a cat on carpet, had the grace of a rhino when trying to feed his deer?

But just then a fawn warily approached her, with its head turned slightly, eyes casting shy sideways glances at her. Her smile grew into a full-fledged grin. That's when he realized that sometimes—just sometimes—she can be quite pretty.

"Hey crybaby," she said, as fawn bent its thin legs and ate from her hand, "he has your legs."

Shikamaru only scowled.

"Look at him. He even has that same dopey expression as you do when you're staring at those stupid clouds."

"Troub—ugh whatever."

"What a sweetheart…" And in a rare display of gentleness, she proceeded to kiss the fawn's head, and it reciprocated by licking her right cheek, leaving a hot trail of goop. Against his better self, he wished this was a sight he could see everyday instead of every few months.

"Woman."

"What now?"

"Stay with me tonight."

"Whatever you want, lazy."

OoOoOoOoOo

Later that night, they both collapsed on his large bed, exhausted and spent after what they had just done. He wondered how long they could keep this up before their secret was discovered, and she wondered the same, and also how long it would be before she confused her feelings of lust for something even more dangerous. It scared her even more that she knew his dreams—a wife and two kids—and she suspected that she didn't fit anywhere in those dreams. But warriors with short life expectancies shouldn't plan too far ahead. So as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead, she stopped thinking about the future, and he started to ponder the feasibility of a permanent alliance between Sand and Leaf.


	3. Chapter 3

"What's the point of cooking for me if you're just gonna eat half of it?"

"Calm down, I'm not even eating any of the fish. Besides, kelp is rare in Suna," she answers, shoving another forkful into her mouth.

He groans but smiles at her, in a way a doting mother smiles at her child.

"He better not be thinking I'm cute," she thinks to herself, because she feels far too old and too jaded to be considered anything remotely close to that.

"Maybe you should come more often than once every six months then."

They no longer have to sneak around now. People still ask them questions, but she tells them (defensively), "We don't work together anymore." He only shrugs. It bothers her a little bit, but she will never admit it and he will never bring it up. It is unlike her to worry about trivial matters (_"where exactly do we stand?_), so she will not start now. It just seems undignified when the older woman whines, and unfortunately she cares about what he thinks.

"Why? Would you like that?"

She wonders if she is corrupting him sometimes. Because of his rather caustic personality and his razor-sharp wit, she often forgets that he is kind. The Leaf Village makes no sense to her. She often silently thinks them foolish for being such steadfast do-gooders. But when she is with him, she stops calculating, stops thinking with her cold, unyielding sense of practicality, and becomes a better person, even if only for that moment. Then she realizes he is the one chastening her.

"Heh, please. Don't be so presumptuous. It's not very becoming on women."

"Chauvinist pig."

"You like it."

He makes her feel like a woman and she is not quite sure why. She thinks maybe it's the way he makes her laugh when he pinches her hips. Or maybe it's the way he looks at her with lust (not fear, not disdain, but animalistic lust) in his narrowed eyes when they are alone in his room. What she will not admit, even to herself, is how simply happy he makes her. It is the stuff civilian girls fawn over, flowers in their hearts and pink euphoria oozing out of their pores. She does not admit this because happiness is usually an omen of worse things to come. So she tells herself she just likes the attention.

"I must be a masochist."

She is almost brilliant, but not quite. She is almost beautiful, but not quite. And he is already all that and more. She is intelligent and battle-savvy, but nowhere near genius. She outranks him and still wins most their battles, but knows he is nowhere near his peak. She knows when (not if) he starts giving a damn and starts putting in half the effort she does, he will leave her in the dust. She is not insecure, but she knows better than to underestimate him again this time. For once in her life, she is with a man far more cunning than she is. And for once, she is not bitter or envious but proud. Her heart is hers to give to whom she chooses, and she has chosen well. Even if they go their separate ways in the end, her time has not been wasted. She knows she will never meet anyone like him.

"Since you've finished early, as usual," he says, "what are you gonna do?"

"Head back probably. I still have paperwork back home."

"You shouldn't work so much, you know. It's not good for you."

Unlike what most people think, she has not become lazy, even if she spends more time idling around with the lanky Leaf nin. She works harder and faster now, because being with him is a luxury she can afford (for now).

"Why don't you stay another day? I'll take you out tonight."

So she does.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN**: Be warned that this is mostly the product of a brain fart. Enjoy anyway!

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She takes his breath away.

Pretty would not be the best word to describe her now, especially with the dark purple rings under her eyes, even though she's certainly not ugly. But moments like this...

It rarely snows in Konoha. He's been fortunate enough to have been witness to a few snowfalls, but this was her first. She watches with silent awe. He admires the elegant curve of her nose, the strength of her jawline, the wildness of her hair, and that proud sadness in her eyes that he could never begin to fathom.

He hopes that she is just tired. _But he has never seen her tired._ And he hopes that her being there with him has somehow lightened whatever burden she is carrying. He curses himself for thinking this because he knows he will regret it later, but he decides that he wants to embark on this journey with her. Maybe it's the brightness of the snowy fields that is making her eyes so bright and so sad. But maybe if they stick together, they can feel warm, and soft, and _human_ again.

So he does something he has never done before.

He takes her hand and he says to her, "Troublesome woman, you're beautiful."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**: I have totally forgotten the rules of grammar T_T

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~*~**Chapter 5**~*~

He doesn't make her laugh all that much. Perhaps her brother does a better job of that. But that look in his eyes usually makes her heart, her oh so traitorous heart, beat faster whenever she is in Konoha. It is the way his facial features tense for a second before relaxing when she walks into the room. It is the way his eyes seem to light up whenever he sees her. Anyone else would have sworn there is nothing different about him, but it is their secret language. It belongs to them and no one else because they understand each other.

He sighs, rolls his eyes, and bitches, but they both know she isn't stupid. She can read facial expressions just as well as he can, and she can see the tension is his mouth as he tries to suppress his smirk. She sees past the feigned yawns, and knows he is anything but bored. And when he calls her troublesome, perhaps he means it. But perhaps he's growing fond of trouble. She tells him this, and he calls her cocky. But she is alright with it.

During her visits to his home, she usually sees two things in his eyes. She likes that she first sees amusement in his eyes. He is amused even before she opens her mouth because he anticipates her razor-sharp wit. He thinks she is funny. It makes her feel special because people rarely amuse him.

The second thing she usually sees in his eyes is lust, but it usually comes later. But when it comes, she feels so powerful - and not the same kind of powerful she feels on the battlefield. Oh no, it was the rare kind - it was the kind of powerful she would feel as a woman. She is usually bone and muscle and grit. But with him, she was skin and silk and velvet (but only for a little bit). And the rare times she lets him dominate her, she shatters wonderfully every single time. And he is only getting better.

So when she turns to leave once more, she says to him:

"I guess this is goodbye for now," and then she flies.

She does not turn back, but she murmurs quietly, "But stay with me. Because I think I love you."

It's alright though, because he's out of earshot.

Or so she thinks.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**: This is so random…

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~*~**Chapter 6**~*~

She had grown accustomed to dropping by without saying much. That was why she had brazenly set down her things on his kitchen table in his new apartment and had taken a shower. She had barely gotten out with a towel over her head when he entered his apartment. She saw that he did not expect her. The slight shock in his eyes—like that of a deer frozen in its tracks—and his tightened jawline terrified her and for a moment she could not figure out why. All she felt was an overwhelming sense of dread. Then she realized what it was. Sometimes he looked like that when he wanted her. But this time, it was not lust in his eyes. It was sadness and a bit of irritation.

That was it then. This was the epiphany she had long been waiting for. When he realized this could not go on, and that he did not want her around any longer. He was going to cut things off with her. It was going to come sooner or later. But all this was triggered because she had made herself all too comfortable at his new apartment and invaded his space. _What an imbecile_, she mentally cursed herself. She should have been too good for this.

She thought she had long prepared for this moment, when one of them had decided to end it, but she realized she was nowhere near ready. The instant and overpowering wave of disappointment washed over her chest, and she secretly and shamefully chased after her unfulfilled dreams like a child would his toy as it is being stolen by a high tide. In the grand scheme of things, jounnin or not, she was still helpless. Her heart already stolen, she was not going to let him take her dignity too. She would wait until she was out of sight before she would express any kind of grief over him.

"I…just needed to use your shower." She sighed. "I was just leaving."

He said nothing as she quickly and dexterously packed her belongings on his kitchen table. She could feel him watching her but she refused to look 'into his eyes. She was almost done when he broke the silence.

"Hey. Can I ask you something?"

She stopped what she was doing for a moment, but still faced away from him. "Okay."

"Do you think that one day we can take all of this outside?"

And she wondered why he kept dropping bombs in her carefully crafted world. She felt moved and hated him a little for it.

"Are you saying you want to?" She turned to look at him now. Even when his eyes were not clouded with lust, they still looked intense. Smoldering.

"Don't think you're fooling either of us if you insist that this thing we have is just about sex. You're smarter than that."

"But you know we can't. At least not right now."

"Then," he said, slightly rolling his eyes, "we'll start by doing what we can."

She narrowed her eyes because he sounded like he was talking to a child again. She hated it when he did that.

"C'mon, woman," he said while extending his hand. "Bring your fan too."

She did as he said and took his hand, feeling vulnerable and awkward. He did not let go of her hand as he took her outside his unit and locked his door. He led her to a staircase at the end of the hall and took her up several flights of stairs. She felt slightly out-of-sync with she rarely walked while holding someone's hand. It embarrassed her that something so trivial could make her feel clumsy and uncoordinated despite nearly a lifetime of harsh training regimens. And then they were on the roof.

And then she realized why he had taken her here. They roof was taller than that in his parents' home. And they could see almost all of Tanzaku Town from there. And in that midsummer's eve, the air was filled with the blossoming of young romance._ Of course_, she smirked. _Only Konoha would be frivolous enough to indulge in something as ridiculous as the Koibito Festival_. There were couples everywhere: in the streets, in ramen stalls, near the stands haggling over trinkets with street peddlers. There were so many people around her age and they sauntered about idly, infected with the maudlin affection that came with the festival. Despite all the absurdity of Konoha's Koibito Festival, the lights, the view of Tanzaku Town, the scent of the streets—all were beautiful.

"You're probably gonna deny this," he said in his smartass, rolling baritone that she loved and hated so much "But I know that at one point, when Temari was just a little girl, she dreamed of going on a romantic date just those people now."

"Hn," she scoffed. He was right on both counts. She had once or twice fantasized about going on a romantic date and romantic places. And she would never admit it, especially to him. "Do I strike you as the lovesick floozy type?" She tried her best to sound indignant.

"Say what you want. But a bunch of my friends are probably down there right now. I know Ino, Sakura, and Tenten are. Not sure about Hinata though," he said, gazing at the hustle and bustle below. "I'm sure they're having a good time. And I don't know why you shouldn't for once."

And just when she thought he wanted to move backwards, he wanted to give them a new dimension. He could have had more of this had he chosen a more normal girl from Konoha. Someone who was still young and radiant, and full of life. Instead, he chose her and he wanted to share some of the radiance with her.

"I guess I don't see why not either." She unfurled her fan. She looked back at him, and he was smirking with half-lidded eyes.

"Well come on, genius. We wouldn't want to have an accident now, would we?" And he held on to her as they rode her fan across the summer skies on their first date.


End file.
